Happy Pill

Another one of those dreams again. I remember us laughing, hugging, gallivanting around like we were a team. 2013 to 2018 ...How many years has it been since I last visited this space? 5.... ? The same old cycle over and over again. While 2016 was hurtful, I don't think there was a need to blog. Is it me or is it my choices? Someone close said to me today: "mebbe it's about time you realize that you and 'that' category cannot be dating" Maybe she's wrong... since I'm always still standing in the end...I never walked out.... BUT Maybe she's right... It scares me to think if she's right... I can't do 'family oriented' ...too much of a headache.. I can only do 'distant' but if 'distant' too; feels like I don't make a good fit.... Then honestly I don't know where to go anymore...or what to look for.... All those 'distant' moments spent...I was very happy...but maybe for all those times I was alone in that feeling. If this is true this is the BIGGEST FAIL in my life ever... I didn't ask to be made so 'broken'. =) I didn't ask to be raised so 'distant'. =) Oh well. I miss you much "Happy Pill". Deep down I still sometimes wish you replied me differently. Not in a way which makes me feel so 'cheap' and 'insignificant' ... Still, I wish you'll have the best of happiness in you life always. Amen =) #DindingYangKuatMungkinBergetar #TetapiTidakAkanPecah Thanks for teaching me this; it's perhaps something I need to relearn again. I've become way too careless these days.